I first heard about Nanowrimo (National Novel Writer’s Month) back in 2005, when a friend of mine decided to tackle the challenge. As someone who always secretly believed that maybe she might have a hidden talent for fiction writing, I was intrigued and wanted to try it too. Alas, it was held in November, quite possibly the worst month on the academic calendar, a month of midterms and paper deadlines and other things that make it impossible to write 1,667 words per day just for kicks.*
Then a couple of years ago, I found out about Camp Nanowrimo, which brings together people who want to write during a summer month. This July I’m giving it a shot.
How’s it going? Well, I changed the year in which the story was set around word 5,000; I realized my plot had a fundamental problem at around word 10,000; then I changed my protagonist’s name around word 15,000. Also, everything I’ve written is probably garbage. But I’m still on track to finish! So, you know, good. Good-ish. Almost good.
In the middle of all of this I discovered my new favorite Twitter feed @WorstMuse, which you should all follow immediately if you’re on Twitter. Here is some of my favorite @WorstMuse writing advice.
You’re right. The world DOES need another novel about an aging English professor’s affair with a nubile young co-ed.
— The Worst Muse (@WorstMuse) July 6, 2014
If a character has curves, make sure to specify that they are in all the right places. Otherwise, readers will be confused.
— The Worst Muse (@WorstMuse) July 9, 2014
Corgis are hot these days, right? What about, like, werecorgis? Edgy, urban werecorgis looking for love in all the wrong places.
— The Worst Muse (@WorstMuse) July 7, 2014
Naturally, I was inspired to come up with some more bad writing advice, such as:
- Make sure everyone in the book falls in love with your protagonist. Otherwise, the reader won’t know s/he is desirable.
- Remember, it is super-romantic when a male protagonist follows his love interest around even when she tells him to leave her alone. Chicks love that!
- Metaphors are like Oreo cookies covered in solid gold: you need them in every sentence.
Any other terrible writing advice you’d like to give me as I slog forward into the second half of July?
* Why didn’t I just decide to write my own 50,000-word novel some other month? … um. I’ll get back to you on that.